Tagged: Dissociative Identity Disorder

Are Multiple Personalities Real? Part 5 of 5

Orphia Nay
Orphia Nay

Karen Wallace, Australia

 

When did you start exhibiting alternate personalities (alters) and what do you think caused them?

I never displayed or demonstrated any sort of alternate personalities until I saw my psychologist and even then it took me a month or so before I was convinced enough to play any sort of role (or let my inner child be revealed). Growing up in an over-protecting household I was emotionally underdeveloped compared to my peers and I think this was an integral contributing factor in allowing myself to become another person in front of my psychologist. The cause of my alters is simply due to the psychologist’s method of treatment and her ability to encourage and persuade me to take on their roles.

 

How many alters did you have?

I was often shocked at my psychologist’s interpretation of this. She explained my alters like a family tree with alters having numerous roles. I know for certain that I sketched and recorded over four hundred different aged personalities however my psychologist seemed to believe that some of them were the same alter at different stages of entrapment in the repressed memories and that I had produced more alters through therapy due to my resistance to it.

 

I’ve heard people with MPD/DID say they have blackouts or periods of memory loss when being different alters. Did you? If so, can you explain the cause of the blackouts?

I never experienced a “blackout”  before therapy and simply could not recall important dates from my childhood. My psychologist explained this as being caused by my personalities living life without me knowing and this is why I could not recall important information about my infancy and childhood (such as my fourth birthday party etc); my alters had obviously lived the experience and the memories that were made during that time they controlled my body were individually kept by them. I taught myself how to “blackout” during therapy. I have always had a tendency to be hypnotised very quickly, even during some children’s movies as I was growing up. During therapy I did not want to believe in the abuse I was “remembering” and desperately wanted to escape from accepting what was happening to me. Each week I would train myself to not be able to feel my body, I would take pins and thumbtacks in my pockets and hurt myself causing a dizziness to come over my whole body and slowly I would be able to make myself become emotionless and unable to feel my body. During my time in therapy I taught myself to hyperventilate silently and hold my breath for longer periods of time until the dizziness would take complete control of my body. Since I have stopped therapy I cannot do these things, I am incapable of shutting out physical pain and I am completely aware of everything around me. I never had any memory loss even in my times of “zoning out”.  I was aware at the time of everything in the room, and all that my psychologist was suggesting or encouraging me to participate in, I trained my body to be in a state of numbness during my sessions and also at home when I used self harm to achieve the same feeling in order to block out the intensity of the emotional pain.

 

Did your friends and family believe you had different personalities? If so why do you think they believed you?

I was encouraged to cut off all communication with the real world, including any social networks that were not sympathetic to my psychologist’s beliefs. At the suggestion of my psychologist I was isolated with only four people that held the same beliefs as my psychologist who encouraged them to find my personalities and build relationships with my alters. They believed whole-heartedly in my different personalities. I would change the types of clothes I wore depending on my mood swings (such as wearing all black and looking quite the ‘gothic’ type during the so-called Satanic holidays/seasons and wearing dainty white/floral outfits for church-type events). After being convinced that I had personalities I allowed myself to often dress like a child, or teen depending on what personality my psychologist wanted to deal with that week. My rage and aggravation towards the therapy, the memories and abusers was often in direct conflict of my normal quiet/controlled/ generous nature and this was also a contributing factor in the people around me believing that I had different personalities. Each horrific memory would bring a variety of emotions that I was incapable of facing and dealing with and I would become severely depressed which was interpreted as a different alter, or I would find myself enraged which was interpreted as a different alter, or I would make myself become numb and void of feeling anything…and yes, it was interpreted as a different personality. I think they honestly believed me because I was nothing like the teenager they had known previously and my moods and emotions were heightened to the point of being incontrollable.

 

Would you say you were acting? Did it feel like you were acting?

I would say that I allowed myself to feel such horrific emotions on an unlimited level that it was easy to adapt my personality to deal with the trauma I was enforced to accept. I became so enraged at my parents that it was easy to allow myself to play the role of the abused child, I became so depressed and desiring death that it was easy to play the role of the child that was loyal to Satan. Yes, I was acting however I feel that the exasperation of the emotions that I was forced to experience provided a strong platform for me to be able to express myself, particularly with a sympathetic therapist. If I allowed myself to play the role of the abused child during therapy my psychologist would hold me tenderly and caress my head and shoulders. If I did not play the role that was required, I received hostility and resentment. This definitely helped me to act the role that was required of me. Yes, it always felt like I was acting, and I consistently stated that I was acting a role to my therapist; this was always interpreted as denial which my therapist had certain ways in dealing with this (financially, it was beneficial to play the role as quickly as possible and my therapist’s time management issues also had a deep effect).

 

If you could say one thing to yourself at that time, what would it be?

I honestly would not have listened. There were many educated people around me at that time attempting to open my eyes to what was happening to me. Close family members and friends had tried to explain how false memories could be implanted by incompetent therapists, and that I had no basis or evidence for any of the things that I was being convinced of, yet I remained loyal to my psychologist. I was in such a vulnerable state of mind at that time and my psychologist offered me a future where I was valued and possessed a type of rare gift that no other human around me could compare to. Having Dissociative Identity Disorder gave me a sense of privilege that I had never had before and I wore that status like a badge of honour. Often during the sessions I would be riddled with guilt at knowing that I was going along with the whole process and that all of it was false, but also knowing that I could not stop or cease to play along with all of the roles as the financial investment had been so incredibly high and the emotional impact I had created in cutting off my family was so traumatic that going back was not even an option. Nothing I could have said to myself back then would have changed the intensity of the situation.

 

What made you stop believing you had multiple personalities?

It has taken almost four years to re-train myself to stop waiting for a personality to suddenly be revealed.  Once the relationship with my psychologist deteriorated, I started to realise that I did not have to act or play a role for anyone, including those people who continued to believe that I had DID. Fear kept me believing that I had these personalities: my therapist was persistent in reassuring me that I would need to have all of my personalities integrated to be free, to be normal, to live as a functional human being. For years I was terrified that there might have been some deeply traumatised child alters trapped in memories and that I would always be a dysfunctional woman with the possibility of an alter suddenly creating chaos at any random moment if these alters decided to appear. Self analysis of my own behaviours and thoughts was the catalyst in helping me find that certainty that I had never had any personalities. I became friends with a new social circle of educated people who could explain in detail the processes that I had become entrapped in with my therapist and since then, I have no fear. I never genuinely believed I had personalities nor did I suddenly stop believing. The fear that I could be mentally unwell and that there was a possibility that my psychologist was correct kept me from simply admitting the truth.

 

Are multiple personalities real?

I have witnessed other women and men who are diagnosed with Multiple Personality Disorder or Dissociative Identity Disorder and observed the “switching” of their personalities. I have also talked to their different personalities and there is no evidence that they are experiencing anything different from what I have personally experienced. Knowing how easy it is to find the right evidence and convince someone that they do have alters I would find it impossible to believe that it is real. As a deeply creative person, I sketched and scribbled in different handwriting on purpose, changed my appearance and interests on purpose and sketched my different alleged personalities with the sole purpose of trying to convince myself that what my psychologist was encouraging was real. It was never real, not for a moment. I do not believe multiple personalities are real, particularly after spending five years enacting them out and supporting their fake identities with creative approaches. The men and women I have seen with this type of disorder generally have been exposed to the same type of therapy with similar social networks who are sympathetic to the belief that multiple personalities are real. I have never seen any evidence that a person can have one identity that does not know the other identities within their being and have experienced this firsthand. During my five years of therapy I was constantly aware of myself, my feelings, values and beliefs as well as my surroundings and could never realistically agree with having personalities that I had no knowledge of, take control of my body and engage in activities that I could not recall later. This entire ideology was suggested to me by my therapist and supported with stories and theory that my therapist shared in weekly sessions to perpetuate the belief that this is indeed scientifically possible.

 


 

A note from the blogger, Orphia Nay

Why didn’t I include answers from anyone who currently believes multiple personalities are real?

It would be promoting a sense of false balance by including believers’ answers.  The science is not divided on the issue.

These people here have lived and breathed multiple personalities, and understood the reasons for and against alters to the depth of their beings, rationally concluding they are not real.  They have seen both sides of the argument to the fullest extent.

 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Are Multiple Personalities Real? Part 4 of 5

Orphia Nay
Orphia Nay

Kim (a pseudonym), USA

 

 When did you start exhibiting alternate personalities (alters), and what do you think caused them?

I feel like I started to dissociate after I left a cult that I was in.  I just would stare off into the distance for long points of time, and I felt like I didn’t know who I was. This is actually a common phenomenon in cults and is caused by something called pseudo identities. Where the cult will separate your core identity from the person you are supposed to be in the cult. It’s how cults are able to make people do things they normally wouldn’t do. (example, the Manson crew killing 7 people, or Jim Jones cult drinking laced Kool Aid).  I guess that’s how dissociation started. When it got really bad  I entered a top notch dissociative unit in the US. I went there, because I was dissociating so much. They are the ones who created the Alters. I think what caused them was the same thing that caused the first one, it was like brainwashing. They convinced me and I didn’t easily believe it, that it was true. I told them multiple times, repeating it over and over again “Dissociative Identity Disorder does not exist and I do not have it”. But you have to understand that I was one mind, one measly patient, against dozens of professionals who claimed otherwise. And I was stuck on that unit for 5 weeks. Day in and day out I was fed the same stuff. And it wasn’t just the top notch psychiatrists, the residents, the nurses, the therapists and socials workers and art therapists and music therapists telling me this was a real disorder, there were thirty patients around me all playing the game and so at some point I broke down and in order to keep my sanity we took my denial and gave it it’s own Alter. I called it the denial alter, the one who never believed, it lived in order for me to escape this horrible abuse whenever I needed to. And when I did that, there was no escaping, anytime I thought “this just isn’t true”. I would follow it up with “says the denial alter”. I felt like that denial alter was my one and only identity, and when I put it aside like that I opened my mind up to be fractured.

 

 How many alters did you have?

16

 

 

 I’ve heard people with “MPD/DID” say they have blackouts or periods of memory loss when being different alters. Did you?  If so, can you explain the cause of the blackouts?

I did and I didn’t. I’m not sure that I can explain this well.  I was probably suffering from PTSD, from the cult and from the dissociative unit, and from all the horrible memories bombarding my head constantly and the fact that I had been in so many psychiatric wards, had been put in so many seclusion rooms, tied to so many beds, given so many chemical restraints, etc. I dissociated a lot.  My memory was like swiss cheese constantly.  My memory may have also had issues, because of all the medications they were pumping into my system. I never, not ever lost “days at a time”. They were aware that I didn’t. I didn’t go to bed and wake up in the grocery store. There were times I would get on the highway and come to 4 miles down the road, having missed my exit. There have always been questions about whether I have temporal lobe seizures, but EEGs won’t confirm them. I stay on anti seizure medications and I don’t have them. So we think it’s pretty clear what’s happening. But these instances were always used against me to prove that I did in fact have DID.

 

Did your friends and family believe you had different personalities?  If so, why do you think they believed you?

My friends and family really didn’t know that I had DID. I was pretty embarrassed about the diagnosis, so I kept it to myself.

 

 

 Would you say you were acting?  Did it feel like acting?

This is tough for me to answer now looking back. In many ways they would ask me to play the part. I would start to dissociate per usual which often led to them asking questions like “who am I talking to”? It was hard because I was sitting there trying not to dissociate and at the same time trying to delay the questionings being fired at me to which I had no answer to give them. Which at the time I didn’t know it, but by delaying my answering, it made it worse. By delaying my answering I would be fired at more, with more questioning “Who are you?” “Can you tell me your name?” “Why are you here?” “Were you sent to help Kim?”

It sounds like something out of a cheesy horror film about aliens.  It becomes terrifying to hear those lines of questioning. I would never give my therapist(s) names of my alters. I never felt like I was being honest if I did that. If what they said was true then they would have to hand me the names themselves from another alter they claimed existed, that told them, because I wasn’t making them up.

Like I said previously I felt that I had set my own identity aside when I made the denial alter up. I think it’s possible to fracture your mind, just not have multiple personalities. Not entire personalities. I think brainwashing can do this. I think hypnosis can do this.  It’s a total lack of identity and will create the worst insanity imaginable, you are at the Mercy of your doctors and therapists and they keep feeding you lies.

 

 

 If you could say one thing to yourself at that time, what would it be?

Doctors aren’t always right. Even doctors with prestige.

 

 

 What made you stop believing you had multiple personalities?

I found it as truth for myself. I had to look inside myself and really understand that none of this could be true and then stop listening to doctors. I came to realize that I knew myself better than they did, even if they claimed otherwise.
 

Are multiple personalities real?

No.

 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Are Multiple Personalities Real? Part 3 of 5

Orphia Nay
Orphia Nay

Sonja Karels, Netherlands

 

 

 When did you start exhibiting alternate personalities (alters), and what do you think caused them?

 

My GP started to treat me [for a nervous breakdown], but after a while he referred me to a Christian psychologist. A young man, just from school and we just couldn’t stand each other. He was trying to put all the blame on my parents and I insisted I needed to get my own life in order, without blaming others. Back then he already believed my father did abuse me. (I found that out during an intake in a Christian center for abused women). We had a fight on the phone and I left.

 

Years later, I was married, with 2 small children I became depressed and anxious again, I also suffered from anorexia nervosa again… and I went to a conference to ‘receive’ healing from God. I really wanted to get better, to serve God better. And then I saw this psychologist and I thought I had to apologize to him, because otherwise God could not bless me (I don’t believe that anymore, but back then I was theologically challenged and superstitious).

 

I apologized and he accepted my apologies and followed me everyday during that conference. After every meeting he wanted to pray with me, to ask God what was wrong with me. I felt cared for and loved and special. It was a very special treatment. And then on the 5th day I heard myself talk with a small childish voice and tell him that daddy did something when I was 3 months.

 

He should have said, “No, you can not possibly remember that”, but he was happy, finally the truth showed up. I was confused. Is that really true. He said,  “Did you make it up?” No, it just happened I had no control.

He said “We prayed, and God does not give stones when you ask for bread.” So I felt I had to believe it.

 

He told me he could help me and I started therapy with him. Twice a week, 3 hours per session; I had to pay for it myself. After a few weeks I couldn’t remember anything that happened in therapy. We taped the sessions and I had to listen to them during the week and write them down, word by word. DID was never mentioned; I found out months later what my diagnosis was. I was unaware of alters and lost a lot of time.

 

 

 How many alters did you have?

 

At first 25, but they kept coming. The 25 remained, they were the strongest. But later we ‘discovered’ circles within circles and there would be 7×7 circles of witches behind every strong alter and a lot of others. The end count was more than 1000. But 42-45 with names.

 

 I’ve heard people with “MPD/DID” say they have blackouts or periods of memory loss when being different alters. Did you?  If so, can you explain the cause of the blackouts?

 

Yes, a lot. Sometimes even for weeks and once 3 months. But most of the time it was just a few minutes or an hour. One cause is medication. I was heavily medicated. The other is – I think – stress and preoccupation with the false memories, like daydreaming about bad stuff. Sometimes I couldn’t remember being to the therapist. I would ‘wake’ up in my car not knowing if I’d been to therapy.  The 3 months, I’m not sure I really lost 3 months. It felt like that, is it summer already? Yesterday it was February. I have no explanation for that.

 

 

 Did your friends and family believe you had different personalities?  If so, why do you think they believed you?

 

Yes, they did. My husband would recognize the alters and speak with them. Some friends did too. My children could call forward the ‘fun’ alters and embarrass me. I remember rolling over the floor in church with a bunch of children. Something I would never do. But they called a boy alter. I have been told I looked different, spoke differently, wore different clothes.

 

 

 Would you say you were acting?  Did it feel like acting?

 

No, I wasn’t acting. I wish I was, because then I could have stopped doing it. I’ve been confused by all of this for 9 years. Sometimes it did feel like acting, especially in therapy. Like I was a puppet on a string, acting, but involuntary.

 

 

 If you could say one thing to yourself at that time, what would it be?

 

It is not true, you are not abused. Stop believing that nonsense. Make a list, make a timeline. (And if I just could say one word, it would be TIMELINE).

 

 

 What made you stop believing you had multiple personalities?

 

In 2002 I was fed up with all the medication and I decided to taper off. The psychiatrist warned me against it, but I wanted to have a clear head. It took me one year. I had help from an online group. It was a long and slow process, but after 9 months I felt better. During that time I didn’t have therapy and I broke off all contact with other ‘survivors’.  Suddenly I realized I didn’t lose time, I didn’t hear alters talking, something had changed. I told my husband to call me by my real name and nothing else. Doesn’t matter if he thought he saw an alter, just my real name. It was a miracle and I loved it. But then I got depressed again and I remembered reading about integration that you need to get help to live as an integrated person. So I found another therapist. During the intake, 15 minutes in, he had a very angry alter talking and that brought me back in the multiple world.

 

I started doubting again, couldn’t sleep, refused to take sleeping pills. Then I decided to make a list. A timeline. Stuff I knew that happened. First time to school at age 4; Little brother at age 5; Graduation at age 18. And another list with the new found memories. First baby at age 13; first rape at 3 months, etc. And full term twins born at age 18.

 

And then it hit me… graduation and full term twins? During that year I became a Christian and made a lot new friends, we would sport together, go to the beach together, have fun. We were also serious together, We did Bible study and talked a lot. Those people were between the ages 15-25. And no one saw my pregnancy? So that memory couldn’t be true, but that was one of the most painful memories. I had more pain than delivering my 2 real children (without drugs). And if that wasn’t true, how could the rest be true? And once I realized everything was false, I stopped believing I had multiple personalities. They told the stories, the stories weren’t true, so they weren’t true either. It was one big deceiving fictional mess.

 

 

 Are multiple personalities real?

 

No! I’ve met too many people like myself. They claim to be multiple, they believe they are multiple, but when they are honest they all say they have doubts. I believe it is learned behavior. You act different and the therapist asks what your name is. You learn quickly to just give a name. And then you have an alter. This sounds like making up a name, but it doesn’t work that way. At least not with me. When the therapist asked a name, some name popped up in my head and that had to be it.

 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Are Multiple Personalities Real? Part 2 of 5

Mark Miller
Mark Miller

Roma Hart, Canada

 

 When did you start exhibiting alternate personalities (alters), and what do you think caused them?

October 1986 at the end of my first appointment with Dr. Colin Ross. I had gone to a university student guidance counsellor Lynn Ryan to get a form fill out for an extension to my unemployment insurance at the suggestion of my friend, but the form required a doctor and this guidance counsellor, who was also a student of Dr.Colin Ross, was sure that he would fill out the form for me. Although the unemployment was based upon a foot injury it just seemed easier to get an extension based on stress, I was certainly under stress, and when the student counsellor asked me what I did when I was under stress and I answered “I just switch to auto pilot” she immediately diagnosed that as another personality and became excited at the possibility of working with her idol and professor Colin Ross who held claim to being the only MPD expert in Western Canada at that time. I just needed the form filled out, I didn’t believe in multiple personality disorder and had read in a Psychology Today magazine several years earlier that it was junk science, no such thing existed. Nevertheless there Lynn and I were a few days later, in Ross’ office in the St. Boniface Hospital psych. building. At the end of the first appointment Ross asked me if he could speak to one of my personalities and I felt pressured to produce one for him. The student counsellor was sitting right beside me and I knew that I had a tendency to cry very easily when I has PMS, and that when I had PMS I hated being touched because my skin felt like it was on fire, an estrogen overload kind of effect. Well I just happened to have pretty bad PMS that day so I told the counsellor to touch me and I would switch to another personality. She did, worse than just a touch she started rubbing my back and I could not help myself from cringing and crying to get the hell away from her because she wouldn’t stop rubbing my back. Dr.Colin Ross was very pleased indeed for the apparent personality switch and I just nodded yes to every question he asked, I just wanted to get out of his office as soon as possible. I was terrified of going to a psychiatrist’s office and terrified of drugs but the student counsellor had assured me before going to that appointment that MPD was the only diagnosis that never required hospitalization and never required drugs, so I believed that if I were to get out of Ross’ office then I needed that diagnosis and no other. Furthermore I needed that damn form filled out because I needed the money, I had no intention of ever coming back for another appointment.  Well Ross filled out the form and shook my hand welcoming me to MPD therapy at the end of that first appointment.
 

How many alters did you have? 

I had 48 alter personalities, Ross said I had more but I was too bored to look for more and the MPD therapy was making me very sick.
 

I’ve heard people with “MPD/DID” say they have blackouts or periods of memory loss when being different alters. Did you?  If so, can you explain the cause of the blackouts?

My so-called blackouts were nothing more than ordinary moments of distraction and day dreaming, for example missing my stop on the bus because I was looking out the window thinking about something. My periods of memory loss were nothing more than normal forgetting because something happened a long time ago. However, all supposed blackouts and supposed memory loss were rewarded by Ross and the other MPD support group members, it supported the cult like environment of the believers in MPD.

 

 Did your friends and family believe you had different personalities?  If so, why do you think they believed you?

Not my family, but I had one friend who wanted to be included in my MPD treatment program and seemed to love the drama.

 

 Would you say you were acting?  Did it feel like acting?

In the very beginning I felt like an actor, but by the second appointment I was completely sucked into the game. By the third appointment Ross had me convinced I was not only sexually abused by my whole family throughout my entire childhood but was also part of a murderous satanic cult. By the fourth visit he had me believe that I had an alien baby. The following month I attempted suicide. The following month, after standing in the hallway by the nurses station in the St. Boniface Hospital psych. building and yelling that “ it was all a lie and that nothing was true”, Dr. Colin Ross had me committed, forcibly injected with high levels of drugs, put in a seclusion room , and had one of his nurses sit beside me on the floor saying to me over and over again that it was all true. Well I never did that again, learned my lesson.
 

If you could say one thing to yourself at that time, what would it be?

At the first step toward the St. Boniface Hospital I would have screamed at myself to stop and run in the opposite direction as fast and as far as I could. When I had decided to just go to Ross’ office and pretend I had MPD to get the form filled out I thought that nothing could go wrong, I wasn’t crazy, all I had to do was sit there and talk to him for an hour, no harm could ever come from that, in a few weeks I could just go back to work. Boy was I wrong! What would I say to myself back then? Lots could go wrong! So much could go very wrong very quickly, oh my goodness turn around and never go in there and never ever speak to or listen to Dr. Colin Ross or his whacko student ever again!!

 

 What made you stop believing you had multiple personalities?

I would watch the television show Sesame Street as a way to be kind to my child personality. There was one episode where Kermit the Frog and Grover were demonstrating emotions. Kermit would say this is what sad looks like, this is what angry looks like, this is what happy looks like, and then Grover would demonstrate what that feeling made him look like. Well, Hell! It was a light bulb moment for me. I remembered that before I met Ross I never had to switch personalities when I felt different emotions. Grover didn’t have to say he was a different name or a different person just because he was feeling a different emotion, he was still Grover all the time! That’s what I was like before MPD therapy! Geeeez! I was sick of MPD therapy and I was so sick of Ross not listening to me and always telling me to switch personalities. Then I remembered something I had learned as a student when I was in the university Faculty of Education, it was about “unlearning”. So I decided that if I had learned how to be MPD then I could unlearn it too. So that’s what I did, I unlearned it by stopping it.

 

 Are multiple personalities real?

They’re only real if you believe in them. But they’re caused by bad therapy and bad therapists using junk science for personal investments of one kind or another. If you can manage to get away from those cult like influences and dust off your critical thinking skills then you’ll see that MPD is not a real thing and the personalities are not real thing either.

 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 

Are Multiple Personalities Real? Part 1 of 5

I asked 5 people who have had MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder) / DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) a series of questions about having multiple personalities.  Here are their answers.

Orphia Nay
Orphia Nay

 

Jeanette Bartha, USA

 

When did you start exhibiting alternate personalities (alters), and what do you think caused them?

I started to exhibit alters about 3-4 weeks after beginning treatment with an MPD expert. What caused them was having 100% insurance coverage, being sequestered on the ward, not seeing friends or family, a poor diet, no exercise, high doses of narcotics and a delusional doctor.

 

I’ve heard people with “MPD/DID” say they have blackouts or periods of memory loss when being different alters. Did you?  If so, can you explain the cause of the blackouts?

No blackouts unless you count being given too many narcotics.

 

Did your friends and family believe you had different personalities?  If so, why do you think they believed you?

They never knew about the details of my treatment.

 

Would you say you were acting?  Did it feel like acting?

No, I wouldn’t say I was acting. I was living up to his expectations and believed the alters were real – after a while and many truth serum interviews. I was assured by the doctor that I was not acting, lying, or mis-remembering.

 

If you could say one thing to yourself at that time, what would it be?

Run! You’re much worse than you were at admission. Get out of here.

 

What made you stop believing you had multiple personalities?

It was an ah-ha moment. I had been jogging and my head cleared.

 

Are multiple personalities real?

Only in the minds of some psychiatrists and film-makers.

 

 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5  

RICHARD NOLL DESERVES OUR RESPECT AND OUR THANKS!

Richard Noll PhD, a clinical psychologist, is Associate Professor of psychology at DeSales University. He is best known for his research and scholarship in anthropology and the history of medicine and psychiatry on topics such as shamanism, spirit possession, mental imagery and visions, vampirism, Carl Gustav Jung, and dementia praecox/schizophrenia”. – DeSales faculty directory

Quest for a ‘holy grail’ -

I was working on an essay about psychiatrists and psychologists who, during the Satanic Panic years, apparently invested a lot of time & energy playing amatuer forensic detective – formulating their own theories about hypothetical satanic ritual abuse & mind control cults and how such cults might operate, then covertly soliciting statements that could be taken as validation for one or another aspect of their theories, from their patients, under the guise of collecting “life history”, or ordinary talk therapy sessions. I was googling various combinations of “psychiatrist”, “satanic cult”, “ritual abuse” and “roleplay detective”.

And there it was…the title of an article, seemingly promising something I had fervently longed for over several decades, but never believed would actually be written in my lifetime: “When Psychiatry Battled The Devil”, by Richard Noll, Ph.D ! But could/would this article really be what I wanted & needed it to be – an insider’s accounting of the history of satanic panic within the psychiatric profession? The link was to historypsychiatry.com, a blog about the history of psychiatry – excellent! Clicked on it and read the summary; “Psychologist Richard Noll has just published an article in Psychiatric Times on the Satanic ritual abuse panic of the 1980s” – BINGO! and then; “Noll chronicles how major figures in American psychiatry and clinical psychology played a role in what today is acknowledged to have been a moral panic that damaged the reputations and led to the imprisonment of a number of innocent individuals”. Fantastic! Written by a Psychologist who was literally “in the midst of things” as they went down, and published in Psychiatric Times, even. Perfect! 

So I clicked the link to Noll’s article on Psychiatric Times, and…got nothing. Noll’s article wasn’t on the Psychiatric Times site, nor was it to be found on any other site, as my frantic googling revealed. It was gone, perhaps locked behind a ‘subscribers only’ wall on the Psych Times site, and I would never get to read it. Glimpsed one of my holy grails, only to have it vanish out of my grasp. Aargh!

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The Truth About Ritual Abuse Claimant-Advocates And Threats

One of the many falsehoods from which Satanic Ritual Abuse mythology is woven,  is the pervasively repeated claim that mental health patients and others who allege a history of  Ritual Abuse, therapists who treat Ritual Abuse claimants, and persons who “advocate for” Ritual Abuse claimants by evangelizing belief in Ritual Abuse mythology,  are all  continuously being harrassed and threatened by “the cult”.

Active cult members continue to threaten and harm adult survivors in a multitude of ways in order to force them to remain silent, most are threatened with death should they disclose their ritual abuse, and many have seen those who threaten them murder others and thus their fears are justified” – Ritual Abuse propaganda site.

Also, Ritual Abuse and Dissociative Identity Disorder claimant-advocates sometimes allege that unnamed skeptical debunkers of SRA and DID have threatened them in some manner, supposedly out of desperation to “shut them up” and prevent them revealing “secrets” that could destroy the world’s ruling elites – if enough people were informed of “the truths” that only SRA-DID claimants can tell. Or some such fanciful nonsense.

Are these claims of living under constant threat of harm or even murder really valid? If they are not valid claims, why would these RA-DID claimant-advocates make up such stories?

THE most important book on the subject of ritual abuse
THE most important book on the subject of ritual abuse

The truth about Ritual Abuse patients and therapists experiencing threats –  The Dilemma of Ritual Abuse; Cautions and Guides for Therapists edited by George Fraser is an expensive and hard to get hold of book, these days, but well worth the expensive or trouble to obtain. Published in 1997, this book contains essays on a number of RA related topics, written by some of the foremost practitioners in the treatment of DID and SRA patients – not by SRA-DID skeptics or debunkers.  Written by people like Dr Richard Kluft, and George Fraser himself, these essays reveal and document some very uncomfortable truths about RA-DID patient-claimants – truths personally observed and recorded by medical practitioners who likely treated more such patients than any others (any others who didn’t get sued for generating false SRA memories in their patients). Here is some of what they reveal:

SRA-DID patient-claimants, and/or their supporter-advocates, have been the people making threats against patients and their doctors!  Richard Kluft provides some illustrative examples, on page 36:

“I had the further experience of receiving repeated threats on my life.For example, on many occaisions during a two month period when I answered my phone personally, a deep voice would say that I was getting too close to cult secrets and would be killed if I did not back off. Although these phone calls were extremely disquieting, after a brief period of serious concern I sensed a pattern in them. I confronted the patient I suspected was either making or instigating the calls. Although I got no admission or confirmation, I never received another threatening call”.

“On one occaision, an inpatient reported that she was receiving telephone messages from the cult instructing her to kill one of my colleagues and/or me…I arranged for the patient to be kept away from the telephone for a few days without the patient being aware of this intent. She continued to report receiving calls from the cult“.

George Fraser reports similar experiences. One of his patients claimed she was receiving threatening postcards, with “self-desctruct” mind-control commands secretly coded onto them, mailed from various foreign countries.  Fraser became suspicious, and a close examination of the postcards revealed that the foreign postal-markings were faked! The patient had been mailing the doctored postcards to herself, confessed one of her “alters”.

Ritual Abuse and Dissociative Identity Disorder claimants themselves have been exposed as the real authors of the threats that they and/or their therapists received, in case after case – but other members of RA-DID “support groups” that many claimants have been involved with are also suspected of concocting and perpetrating elaborate campaigns of threatening harrassment against a range of persons in some claimants lives –  including; their therapist’s or treatment facility’s other patients, friends, family members, clergy and community support services workers .  Richard Kluft issued informed and insightful condemnations of these non-clinical Ritual Abuse victim claimant “support” groups and networks. From pg. 45:

I am particularly wary of leaderless or peer-facilitated support groups for dissociative disorder patients and others who allege that they are survivors of ritualistic groups. I have tracked the course of more than a dozen of these groups over the years, and all but one were unmitigated disasters…the proclivity of these groups for overwhelming their members with one another’s traumatic material, excessive dependency, and unbridled requests for support and nurture…and the possibility that members will, under the aegis of group forces and their own vulnerabilities, come to believe that they too have experienced what others represent as their personal histories”. 

“But I can share the personal observation that among those MPD (DID) patients and allegers of satanic ritual abuse whom I have treated, those who have networked extensively with fellow patients or allegers invariably take longer to treat than those who do not, and their treatment runs a stormier course. I currently refuse to treat patients who insist on participating in [such] potentially contaminating and countertherapeutic activities”.

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Dispelling Myths About Dissociative Identity Disorder Being “Misunderstood”

JANUS2

*Updated

I’ve been noticing an aggressive internet propaganda campaign about Dissociative Identity Disorder, apparently being waged by certain members of  International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation (ISSTD), using mental health journalists – who happen not to be mental health professionals themselves – as ‘fronts’.  Specifically, there are several quasi-interviews with Bethany Brand PhD – a member of the ISSTD Journal of Trauma and Dissociation Editorial Board – purporting to be concerned with “dispelling myths about Dissociative Identity Disorder”.

One example of this campaign can be found on the PsychCentral website. Titled  “Dispelling Myths about Dissociative Identity Disorder” and written by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S., it is located here:

http://psychcentral.com/lib/dispelling-myths-about-dissociative-identity-disorder/0009785

This article by Margarita Tartakovsky portrays itself to be a matter of public health education, intended to ‘correct’ myths and misunderstandings about DID that “the public” is supposedly confused by;

“(DID), known previously as multiple personality disorder, is not a real disorder. At least, that’s what you might’ve heard in the media, and even from some mental health professionals. DID is arguably one of the most misunderstood and controversial diagnoses in the current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). But it is a real and debilitating disorder that makes it difficult for people to function”.

Tartakovsky & Brand begin their myth and misunderstanding expose with an obtuse Strawman;

“Why the controversy? According to Bethany Brand, Ph.D, a professor of psychology at Towson University and an expert in treating and researching dissociative disorders, there are several reasons. DID is associated with early severe trauma, such as abuse and neglect. This raises the concern over false memories. Some people worry that clients may “remember” abuse that didn’t actually happen and innocent people may get blamed for abuse. (“Most people with DID don’t forget all their abuse or trauma,” Brand said; “sufferers may forget episodes or aspects of some of their trauma,” but it’s “fairly rare not to remember any trauma at all and suddenly recover memories of chronic childhood abuse.”) It also “pries into families’ privacy,” and families may be reluctant to reveal information that might put them in a negative light”.

Innocent persons being falsely accused of sex abuse crimes against children, based on false memories, is indeed a legitimate concern in our society. However, Tartakovsky and Brand are contending that DID is a controversial diagnosis/ research subject/ treatment specialization, because DID is alleged to arise out of the trauma of childhood abuse & neglect, and “families” [readers are intended to infer “abuse perpetrating family members”] don’t want information about abuse & neglect to be revealed.

The strawman here is an insinuation that the only reason for DID to be “controversial”, is that child abusers don’t want to get exposed by adult survivors of their abuse.  Extend the insinuation…DID skeptics must be child abusers! The ongoing recourse to this type of slanderous crapola by DID therapists, researchers and ‘advocates’ only demonstrates that they possess no valid evidence for the legitimacy of DID and must resort to slanderous insinuations against those who expose the truth about it.

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Mental Health Malpractice Cover-up. Castlewood Treatment Center seeks to purchase plaintiff gag-order.

As revelations of a major Mental Health Care scandal come to light, a malpractice settlement threatens to conceal the issue from scrutiny once more.

money talks - EditedOn November 21, 2011, the first of four disturbingly similar malpractice lawsuits was filed against Castlewood Treatment Center, LLC. Among the allegations, a former client of the St. Louis based eating disorders clinic, Lisa Nasseff, claimed that “under the influence of various medically prescribed psychotropic medications” she was “negligently hypnotized” and coerced into believing that, among other things, she “was a member of a satanic cult and that she was involved in or perpetrated various criminal and horrific acts of abuse.” Leslie Thompson, Brooke Taylor, and Colette Travers all followed suit, each also alleging the cultivation of traumatic delusions while undergoing treatment at Castlewood, particularly under the care and supervision of one Mark Schwartz and his (then) wife Lori Galperin. The stage was set for an intense legal battle when, according to KMOV 4 in St. Louis, “Castlewood denied implanting false memories in the women and called the allegations bizarre.” Continue reading

Sean Sellers: The Devil and Death Row

Shortly before his death by lethal injection, Sean Sellers would express deep annoyance that so many people still insisted upon making such a big deal of the 3 murders he had committed — two of them his own parents, the other a convenience store clerk named Robert Bower. “I’m amazed at the self righteousness I still encounter from people who don’t even know me,” Sellers wrote in his journal, February 1, 1999, two days before death. “People,” he addressed his future readers, “for one moment, get your eyes off my own sins and look at your own. You want to harp on something that happened 13 years ago. Thirteen years! If you didn’t know Robert Bower or Mom and Dad then it doesn’t even affect you. It’s so easy to appear righteous next to a murderer, but here are two facts in the Kingdom of God: First of all, I repented of those sins 13 years ago soon after they happened, and I’ve been serving God ever since. And second of all, it isn’t ME you have to compare yourself to, it’s God’s holiness. Don’t look at my sin and think yourself clean, look at GOD!” [1]

Only sixteen years of age at the time of his crimes in 1985, Sellers remains the youngest criminal sentenced to death in the United States since the reinstatement of the Death Penalty in 1976. That troubling fact, along with his ostentatious jailhouse conversion, made him an instant cause célèbre for anti-Capital Punishment activists, and a poster boy for apocalyptic crusaders who saw in him a confused and helpless by-product of uniquely troubled times. Continue reading